the Urban Dictionary

I've become obsessed with the Urban Dictionary - so much to the point that I've joined the leagues of volunteer editors who approve or reject attempted new entries. Wikipedia characterizes the site as possessing a low signal-to-noise ratio because of its broad acceptance policy and willingness to accept duplicate word entries, and suggests it is more entertaining than an authoritative guide to contemporary slang. Blah blah blah, why equate "authoritative" with particular, temporally and geographic specific lexical acceptance practices? Anyway, the dictionary has accepted my entry for "sympathy narf" - its very first entry! Of course, its root, "narf" was present in many iterations.

As editor, my favorite entries I recently approved include:

Dr. Fripper:
a meal consisting of fritos and dr.pepper yum yum!

I was sitting at home on the couch being lazy eating Dr. Fripper as my lunch.

shit skillet:
a) One who lacks severely in intellectual prowess or social grace. Unwanted or undesirable by even the lowest societal groups.
b) one who offers nothing of worth to anyone.

We don't want that shit skillet tagging along with us.

Glaph:
Mixture of seamen and urine.

Sadly, there was no sample sentence provided for "glaph" so that I could discern if "seamen" was in fact a homonym mistake or really did refer to sailors. If it was a mistake, then it's not nearly as interesting.

Too young to hold on...

Humor me, okay? It is my birthday (well at least in some time zones) and I am allowed to think I'm being reflective by wallowing in song lyrics and constructing foolish pop identifications. I always think of Jeff Buckley right around my birthday because his birthday was just three days after my own (November 17) - a pretty weak case for identifying with someone else's work but his songs make it pretty easy for me to want to identify.

What can I say? Not much when I can't be sarcastic, invective, or biting. His music is just... amazing. When I first moved to Urbana two and a half years ago and torturing myself with wrenchingly beautiful music was my favorite hobby (you know, before I found the local roller skating rink and could actually talk to people), I would listen to "Love, You Should've Come Over" more times in a day than is probably legally allowable. (Mostly the Live at Sin-e version for you music snobs out there, and no, I shall entertain no debates today on whether the artistry of the father - Tim Buckley - surpasses that of the son.)

Lover, You Should've Come Over

Looking out the door i see the rain fall upon the funeral mourners
Parading in a wake of sad relations as their shoes fill up with water
And maybe i'm too young to keep good love from going wrong
But tonight you're on my mind so you never know

When i'm broken down and hungry for your love with no way to feed it
Where are you tonight, child you know how much i need it
Too young to hold on and too old to just break free and run

Sometimes a man gets carried away, when he feels like he should be having his fun
And much too blind to see the damage he's done
Sometimes a man must awake to find that really, he has no-one

So i'll wait for you... and i'll burn
Will I ever see your sweet return
Oh will I ever learn

Oh lover, you should've come over
'Cause it's not too late

Lonely is the room, the bed is made, the open window lets the rain in
Burning in the corner is the only one who dreams he had you with him
My body turns and yearns for a sleep that will never come

It's never over, my kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder
It's never over, all my riches for her smiles when i slept so soft against her
It's never over, all my blood for the sweetness of her laughter
It's never over, she's the tear that hangs inside my soul forever

Well maybe i'm just too young
To keep good love from going wrong

Oh... lover, you should've come over
'Cause it's not too late

Well I feel too young to hold on
And i'm much too old to break free and run
Too deaf, dumb, and blind to see the damage i've done
Sweet lover, you should've come over
Oh, love well i'm waiting for you

Lover, you should've come over
'Cause it's not too late

California...

Why?

Dark Anxieties About Globalization at the Movies

This past Friday night I went to see the third installment in the Saw franchise - what can I say? I really like watching gross-out horror films in theatres (it seems like no other types of movies instill such affective or physical responses in me), but horror films also fascinate me because they tend to function as relatively conservative critiques of morality and - to varying degrees of complexity - highlight cultural anxieties in really crude ways. Each Saw movie, though ostensibly presenting the same kind of gore, has focused on three different themes: the first focused on how one values life and exhibits that value through everyday actions and consideration for others; the second explored our dependence on others for life and how trust functions in group dynamics; finally, the latest installment explores power relationships between heterosexual couples and whether there is such a thing as a "life-altering event" where one's character can radically change in response to trauma. The unfortunate assumption in all three films, and one that our federal government also takes for granted with the recent passage of the "torture bill" - is that physical pain and torture seems to trump mental pain and torture in terms of taking its effects seriously and efforts to monitor it. To overcome or withstand physical torture indicates good character and commitment in Saw while mental pain is simply an indulgent, controllable failing of the individual.

The previews before Saw III advertised the upcoming release of Turistas and the second installment of Hostel - the basic message of these films seems to be that when stupid Americans treat "developing" countries as their playground for random sexual encounters and drug and alcohol abuse, then they are so going to get it. The first Hostel even suggests that the value of an American body (even if it's a value placed on it by thrill-kill executioners) is dramatically higher than the value of Other bodies in the world. I can't help but wonder if this recent slew of movies isn't creating representations of our anxieties about the perception of the U.S. and reactionary fears about the effects of globalization.

The Nation "Pics" UIUC Graduate Employee Rally

The Nation online picked a photo taken of us earlier this summer during a UIUC Graduate Employees' Organization rally for its photo of the week on the student page. We are in the third floor of the Grainger Engineering library outside of the bargaining room right before that bargaining session was scheduled to start.

Alas, the caption on The Nation's site reads "Graduate students rally for fair pay at the U. of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign." Sigh... it would have been nice if it had referred to us as graduate employees and mentioned the GEO. If you look on the right side of the picture, I'm the headless body wearing green shorts and a black and white t-shirt.

Pete Burns = Genius

"The Body Baker"

These are images of the bread creations by artist Kittiwat Unarom. An associated press article about his work said he created the work to make people think about their relationship with food - whether they are consuming food or if it is consuming them. It seems that many of the creations evoke the torture and objectification of the human body as well (like the bloodied and bruised face and the bruised body parts on meat hooks). Thanks to Shira Segal on the body blog for sharing this story with me.

Worst Halloween Costume... Ever

Not sure why my blog has turned so animal-themed lately, but this has to be one of the worst things a person could do to their pet (okay, having sex with your pet, as my last blog covered, is decidedly worse). It's one thing to be one of "those" people who like to dress up your pets, but to dress it up like the leader of the Third Reich?!?

Of all animals to have sex with... a pit bull?!?

News of the weird from Washington... can you imagine? How do you explain to someone that bestiality broke up your first marriage? Jinkies.

Spanaway man first arrest under state's new bestiality law
By The Associated Press

TACOMA, Wash. — A Spanaway man believed to be the first person in the state charged under Washington's new bestiality law bailed out of the Pierce County Jail this morning.

Pierce County prosecutors say 26-year-old Michael Patrick McPhail was caught by his wife on Wednesday night having intercourse on the back porch with their four-year-old female pit bull terrier.

The wife took photos with a cell phone and called police.

Pierce County sheriff's spokesman Ed Troyer says "There's pretty clear proof what happened to this dog."

McPhail was arrested that night.

Charged with animal cruelty, he could be sentenced to a year in jail if convicted.

The bestiality law took effect in June. It was prompted by an incident in Enumclaw where a man died after having sex with a horse.

I Had a One Night Stand With a Cat

So it has been a month now since I met her when I was out walking late at night. She followed me - I didn't make the first move. What can I say? I fed her tuna and took her home with me. I decided to call her Cheeto. She crawled into bed with me, rested her head in the crook of my arm and purred next to me all night. The next day she goes back to her owner and what am I left with? A couple of stray hairs, like cheeto dust on a white couch. Does she call? No. Will I ever hear from her again? Probably not.