Kim reminded our brave group of five last night before we set off into the early, spring evening for the KFC on University Avenue of the following adage: Remember the lessons of the past. You gorge on KFC and you feel sick. A month later you forget and the fried chicken cravings start all over again.We didn't listen - but as you can see from this handy diagram, the ears are not a part of the digestive system (please, no Deleuzean critiques in the comments section about the body, its organs and its systems, because I'm sure you were so just about to go there).
The Odyssey of KFC:1:
The cornucopia of riches that KFC (or "KFCucopia") offers enters your mouth (last night this included honey bbq boneless wings; extra crispy wings and drumsticks, gravy, green beans, corn, biscuits, cole slaw, and even more gravy that you fondly refer to as "meat soda").
MOOD: Frenzied but happy.
2:
Yay Saliva! The mouth's natural lubricant to ease the bounty down. KFC gravy assists with the lubrication process.
MOOD: Still frenzied. Still happy.
3,4,5,6
Don't have much to say about you... too busy eating fried chicken.
MOOD: Smug, happy, with a beginning onset of greasiness.
7:
The hardly chewed food begins to make its way down through the espophagus. Were this an image of my esophagus last night, you would be able to detect the faint outline of a drumstick I may or may not have swallowed whole.
MOOD: Sluggish but content. Definitely feeling greasy.
8:
Once the food reaches the stomach research has shown that KFC products act much like those little capsules you had when you were a kid that expand fifty times their original size into sponge dinosaurs when you place them in water.
MOOD: A contest between remorse and sleepiness. Remorse sets in as you begin to question if the second biscuit and all of those swigs directly from the styrofoam gravy container were really necessary. As you contemplate their comedic necessity, an overpowering sense of fatigue sets in that attempts to battle the remorse. This may or may not be linked to a "forget-me-now" chemical that KFC adds to their food items - after all, who can remember their digestive unhappiness if they are asleep?
9 and 10:
Your body continues to battle the onslaught of fats, preservatives, and other noxiously delicious KFC chemicals.
MOOD: Rage. If you have resisted the food's "forget me now" sleep agent, you become filled with rage and disbelief at the Colonel. Who wears white when they're eating fried chicken anyway?
11:
It's the next day and much of the KFCucopia exits from your body.
MOOD: No comment.
4 comments:
Forget that soi-disant "colonel." The cognoscenti prefer Harold's.
If only we had at least one Harold's, let alone a Harold's #32. We tried to go to Seaboat but it was closed!
Omg Frank I just watched Children of Men and the DVD bonus features includes commentary by Zizek lamenting the meaninglessness of late capitalism. What else is new? Dude needs a haircut.
Sometimes I fantasize about Žižek and me as a kind of superhero team. You know, like the Wonder Twins or Electra-Woman and Dynagirl? Anyway, in my fantasy, I'm unambiguously "the cute one."
And we have a Harold's about three blocks from our building. So you can't plead ignorance any more.
yes, but can the results of KFC rival Popeye's trademark "canonball" effect on the morning after?
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