lol!

moar funny pictures

happy birthday to me! 28... woot!

oh jenkies!

why does this exist?

PRAYING MANTIS...

YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE BEING SNEAKY, BUT I'M ONTO YOU!

From the WTF Files: Vulva Original

Ummm, wtf? I'm seriously frightened by this one. Vulva Original is not cologne or perfume, it is concentrated, simulated "vaginal scent" that you are supposed to apply to the back of your hand so you can intensify "your erotic fantasies and start the film rolling in your head." The FAQs section of the site is pretty choice... unfortunately it doesn't include the question that has been on my mind, "Does naming it 'original' mean that there are other exciting Vulva scents coming out such as Vulva: Menstruation and Vulva: Yeast Infection?" It turns out the development page answers that question... while the smell of menstruation and yeast is so not hot right now, apparently Vulva will soon come out with Vulva: Eighteen and Vulva: Exotic. You know, because barely legal and "exoticized other" vaginas totally smell different than original vaginas. I can only shudder to think what those scent masters will think to infuse into those concoctions (I can just picture the board meeting with a bunch of middle-aged white pervs demanding essence of lollipop and Chinese five-spice).

this man...

tried to befriend me on myspace. I think I'm going to say no. I figure my friends should at the very least be in the same astral plane as me... at best they are people I have actually interacted with in some way before the person clicks a button to add me as a friend.

monday means exercise

the weekend is over and I stuffed myself with fried chicken and schnitzel so it's time to exercise - every Monday and Wednesday afternoon I take an aerobics and strength training class offered through the Urbana Park District - the class looks a lot like this video

My Latest Procrastinatory Obsession: pandora.com

Back in 2000 a group of music-tech geeks got together to create "The Music Genome Project" - a project that aimed to analyze music by hundreds of attributes (or "genes") combined into thousands of "focus traits" so that a site like pandora.com can identify music you might like depending upon the initial band(s) you input into the site. It then streams songs to you over the internets they think you might like. The claim is matching music by these "genes" will identify music that can resonate with you that goes beyond simple identifications by genre or self-identified "influences" a band might list. Funded by evil corporations and advertising? Yes, I'm sure (including Sprint, my horrible cell phone provider)... but the advertisements are relatively innocuous and I have actually discovered some really great music on the site. Now whether I'll actually buy the music... will remain to be seen.

A Furby by any other name...

Yume Neko Smile, the Creepy Cat Robot from Sega
Uploaded by AkihabaraNews

what?

I spilled hipster beer on myself and drawing with Sharpies is fun

thanks for the pics Lisa!

my petsitting continues...

the BEST craigslist personal ad EVER

So my friend, who loves to giggle at the personal ads in our local craigslist saw this and immediately thought I should see it:

Let us frolic in my totally dope blanket fort - 21
Yes, I know what you’re saying, “dude, that blanket fort sucks.” That would not be the first time I’ve heard such scathing reviews. Its structural integrity is dubious at best and there isn’t a whole lot of headroom. But c’mon, it’s not like I’m a fucking architect. Besides, this little baby is just a prototype. I have vast resources of cushions for anchoring and blankets in order to maximize square footage. My living room is just waiting to be turned into a wicked sweet labyrinth of love.

I am very open to suggestions in respect to design and construction, as I’d like this fort to be a shared vision. Much like the Taj Mahal, its intended that this little beauty will be inspired by a very special lady. Once our shelter is erected, we can move in and work on some of our higher order needs. Or we could just order a pizza and tell ghost stories. Please email me with a picture if you want to be invited to this living room party. It will be sweet.

PS: I’m allowed to have sleepovers.

Thrills from a Detention Center in the Philippines

My posts are coming few and far between these days - the summer heat, actual work, and my back injury have not motivated me to do much extracuricular blogging... and then I run across a video like this and I know I have to share. The inmates at Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center united in their love for Michael Jackson's early video masterpiece, "Thriller." If for any reason the embedded video says you require a plug-in, you can access the video at this link too.

sugar toast: a blog about comfort food

my friend kimmy p has started a multi-contributor food blog about the simple, comfort food recipes that make our worlds go 'round. you should check it out.

Blu-Blockers

So I've been absent for a while because I was away in Idaho for a week and injured my back. Lately my friends have been reminiscing about things we ate or watched when we were younger. Angelo and I remembered this random commercial for Blu-Blocker sunglasses and, sure enough, Angelo found the commerical on youtube. Anyone else remember this one?

congrats jason and kim

this shirt is funny

enough said.

Straight out of a John Waters movie: "Man beats peacock he says was a vampire"

AP; NEW YORK -

A peacock that roamed into a fast-food restaurant parking lot was attacked by man who vilified the bird as a vampire, animal-control authorities said. Beaten so fiercely that most of his tail feathers fell out, the bird was euthanized, said Richard Gentles, a spokesman for the city's Center for Animal Care and Control.

"It's just unbelievable that someone would do something to a poor, defenseless animal and do it in such a cruel fashion," he said.

The peacock, a male several years old, wandered into a Staten Island Burger King parking lot and perched on a car hood Thursday morning. Charmed employees had been feeding him bread when the man appeared. He seized the iridescent bird by the neck, hurled it to the ground and started kicking and stomping the creature, said worker Felicia Finnegan, 19.

"He was going crazy," she said.

Asked what he was doing, she said, the attacker explained, "'I'm killing a vampire!'"

Employees called police, but the man ran when he saw them. Authorities were looking for the attacker, described as being in his teens or early 20s. It was not clear how the bird made his way to the Burger King, but a Staten Island resident who raises peacocks said he had given some to a person who lives near the restaurant.

As Fourth of July nears, Kobayashi has jaw arthritis!

In what may be the greatest upset since the 2002 Lakers-Kings playoff series, Takeru "Tsunami" Kobayashi has been diagnosed with jaw arthritis less than two weeks before the annual Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest (THE hot dog eating event of the year). News reports quote Takeru as saying, "My jaw refused to fight any more." Despite experiencing pain during training, Takeru continued to eat and now can't even open his mouth an inch (that's 2.5 cm for you metric folks out there). Sadly this year's contest was shaping up to be the most exciting one in years, what with the sudden appearance of dark horse Joey Chestnut who broke Takeru's world record for eating hot dogs earlier this month. I think you should consider eating a hot dog this evening in honor of Takeru, the Hot Dog world's [potentially] fallen hero and hope for a miraculous recovery - I know I will. If he doesn't compete, I'll lose a mint on all of those commemorative Kobayashi-Chestnut matchup t-shirts, decorative bandannas, and miniature pewter spoons I planned to hawk at the event.

A Seersucker Concert Addendum

I forgot to mention the funniest part of the concert. Chris and I were settled into our balcony seats (not the best location, but not too bad) waiting for the concert to start when this dude comes stumbling down the next aisle, taking the seat directly behind us. He was wearing a slightly off-center baseball cap and a t-shirt with an unbuttoned seersucker dress shirt in multiple colors over it. His pants were also seersucker, BUT a totally different loud pattern of seersucker from the shirt. For all the tumbleweeds and crickets reading my blog out there who may not be familiar with seersucker, I have pasted a picture of some samples of it to the left. As you can see, the reason I'm noting his ensemble is because it was LOUD. And so was he. Did I mention he had a tumbler of rum and coke from the theatre's bar in his hand? Yeah, he reeked of it. Even before the concert began, he started shouting out random, drunken things. When it did finally began and Wilco took the stage, before each song began he would shout out "Wishful Thinking" several times at the top of his voice. What especially cracked me up about this is because "Wishful Thinking" is such a quiet, quiet, thoughtful song and this man was definitely not. During the first five songs or so he decided to garble the lyrics at the top of his lungs. Several times Chris and I both expressed we were on the verge of punching the man out. But then it grew quiet... I assumed he must have finally passed out from all the booze. Instead, he disappeared for the ENTIRE concert. When the lights came up in the theatre I asked Chris if he thought the guy had been kicked out. He conjectured that he was passed out in the bathroom somewhere or at the bar. Sure enough, when we exited the balcony there was seersucker dude, completely red-faced and sloshy, standing by the bar and yelling to his friends. Sigh. What would we be without wishful thinking?

Human Plows

I attempted this position in yoga tonight. I looked exactly like the woman pictured to the left only I wasn't wearing an aqua bodysuit, my toes were resting on a chair, my shoulders were on blankets, and my yoga instructor was in the background commanding us to make sure we were rolling our "side thighs" to the ceiling while keeping our knees and "backchests" straight. I don't think this is a relaxation asana. Especially when you can't figure out how to roll your side thighs or what a backchest is exactly.

Wilco at the Murat Theatre, Indianapolis June 15, 2007

In February of 2005 I got to see Wilco on my university's campus and they opened with "Hell is Chrome" - a really haunting song whose almost-cheerful opening piano chords betray the lyrics and Jeff Tweedy's resigned, but achingly beautiful voice that follows (apologies for all the hyperbole, but it's deserved!). That song set the tone for a wonderful concert over two years ago and I finally got to see the band again last night. The show was really good but it seems like Wilco has changed in the last couple of years - this is a completely unfair complaint but last night nearly every song they played just sounded... too happy (even the wrenching ones - like "Jesus, Etc." and a really amazing, newly orchestrated version of "Sunken Treasure") . Maybe this is a reflection of their new album or the addition of Nels Cline to the band, but it seems like they have shifted towards a new focus on longer instrumental jams that display the guitar talents of Cline and away from a band who had/still has at its center an amazing singer/songwriter whose lyrics resonate so intensely. Then again maybe it was just an off night and the vocals were set too low compared to the instrumentation... they still play well, long, and with so much energy. Unfortunately no cover of "Don't Fear the Reaper" last night either - instead we got a macrame owl with a goofy light display on it :)

A "Gay" Bomb. Ummm, what?

US military pondered love not war

The US military investigated building a "gay bomb", which would make enemy soldiers "sexually irresistible" to each other, government papers say.
Other weapons that never saw the light of day include one to make soldiers obvious by their bad breath.

The US defence department considered various non-lethal chemicals meant to disrupt enemy discipline and morale.

The 1994 plans were for a six-year project costing $7.5m, but they were never pursued.

The US Air Force Wright Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio, sought Pentagon funding for research into what it called "harassing, annoying and 'bad guy'-identifying chemicals".
The plans were obtained under the US Freedom of Information by the Sunshine Project, a group which monitors research into chemical and biological weapons.

'Who? Me?'

The plan for a so-called "love bomb" envisaged an aphrodisiac chemical that would provoke widespread homosexual behaviour among troops, causing what the military called a "distasteful but completely non-lethal" blow to morale.

Scientists also reportedly considered a "sting me/attack me" chemical weapon to attract swarms of enraged wasps or angry rats towards enemy troops.

A substance to make the skin unbearably sensitive to sunlight was also pondered.

Another idea was to develop a chemical causing "severe and lasting halitosis", so that enemy forces would be obvious even when they tried to blend in with civilians.

In a variation on that idea, researchers pondered a "Who? Me?" bomb, which would simulate flatulence in enemy ranks.

Indeed, a "Who? Me?" device had been under consideration since 1945, the government papers say.

However, researchers concluded that the premise for such a device was fatally flawed because "people in many areas of the world do not find faecal odour offensive, since they smell it on a regular basis".

Captain Dan McSweeney of the Joint Non-Lethal Weapons Directorate at the Pentagon said the defence department receives "literally hundreds" of project ideas, but that "none of the systems described in that [1994] proposal have been developed".

He told the BBC: "It's important to point out that only those proposals which are deemed appropriate, based on stringent human effects, legal, and international treaty reviews are considered for development or acquisition."

Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/world/americas/4174519.stm

Published: 2005/01/15 06:38:30 GMT

© BBC MMVII

That's the look of sheer joy.

Joey Chestnut broke the world record for hot dog eating yesterday by eating 59.5 HBDs (hot dogs and buns) in 12 minutes. The previous record was set by the Tiger Woods of eating contests, Takeru Kobayashi, who ate 53.75 HBDs in 12 minutes last fourth of July. Chestnut is also the champion at eating jalapeno poppers (118 in 10 minutes) - a contest that I like to refer to as the "Flaming O-Ring Challenge."

“These guys’ numbers have just been going up at a tremendous clip,” Ryan Nerz (representative for Major League Eating) said. “I always thought there was a limit — a limit to the human stomach and a limit to human willpower — but I guess not.”

The true test for Chestnut comes on the fourth of July when he faces Kobayashi at the premiere hot dog eating contest of the year held by Nathan's Famous on Coney Island. In speaking about Chestnut's chances, xenophobe and chair of the International Federation of Competitive Eating, George Shea, argued, "the Fourth of July has been stolen from Americans because of Kobayashi's dominance and now America has someone who they can get excited about."

youtube: my digital xanax

So earlier today I planned a vitriolic (and even violent) post against Kobe Bryant but I was kindly reminded I have a seriously warped sense of sportsmanship. I will have to wait to see if he actually wants to be traded or be a "Laker for Life" and instead I retreated to youtube to watch relaxing videos. My favorites today come from damienfilms, who has decided to subscribe to my stupid videos. What I like most about his/her videos are the titles. I present to you "Adorable Cutest Doggy" (featuring a near-catatonic husky and funny whispering) and "Hamsters - Wheel of Death Too Much Fast" (nine seconds of bliss). Let's just say I'm much calmed down now.

Kimmy P: I just want to tell you how I'm feeling... gotta make you understand

KP: I know you got mad at me for recycling pics, but there are a lot of majorly talented people who recycle material. I provide video evidence below. Two performances separated by twenty years, and yet the song has still "got it." So does Rick Astley. He is set to go through puberty any day now. Can we set Peabo aside for a moment and make it the summer of Rick?

1 Year and 100 Posts!

oh, and probably only 1 reader!
I would ask for a prize, but procrastination is gift enough itself.

A little over a week and a couple of thousand miles away

From the LA Times today...

In the wake of his tragic death, friends remember 'a true artist' who loved to explore new sounds.

By Greg Burk
Special to The Times

May 19, 2007

Guitarist Jim McAuley had no trouble this week recalling his first meeting with fellow guitarist Rod Poole. It was at the home of Nels Cline, well before the three recorded their "Acoustic Guitar Trio" album.

"I was standing in Nels' kitchen, sipping coffee, when these amazing crystalline tones emerged from the living room," McAuley said. "Rod Poole was just tuning up, and already I was mesmerized by his sound."

Cline, a key player in L.A.'s experimental music scene and now a member of Wilco, described Poole as "a true artist, probably a genius" in a note on his website, posted after Poole was stabbed to death on Sunday in the parking lot of Mel's Drive-In.

His wife, Lisa Ladaw-Poole, was there when it happened.

The couple was walking toward the restaurant, after attending a concert at the Dangerous Curve art gallery downtown, when a car nearly struck them and other pedestrians. The musician spoke up; the vehicle's driver and passenger both got out, the latter allegedly with a knife, according to police. A half hour later, Poole died.

A security camera provided images that led to the quick arrest of Michael and Angela Sheridan. They were arraigned Wednesday.

Ladaw-Poole fielded a lot of phone calls this week, many of them from the parents of Poole's guitar students who hadn't gotten the news and were wondering why he didn't show up for their children's guitar lessons.

"These children loved Rod," Ladaw-Poole said Wednesday. "He was really kind with them."

Poole was a highly unusual guitarist, equally drawn to the distorted sound bombs of Jimi Hendrix and the spontaneous microcosmic tracings of Derek Bailey.

"I never could quite figure out how one man with one guitar could generate such an all-enveloping aural space," said Devin Sarno, an electronic drone artist who recorded Poole twice for Sarno's W.I.N. label.

Having left his native England in 1989 to find a more exploratory climate, Poole fell in with a devoted cloister of Los Angeles pathfinders that included Kraig Grady, Brad Laner and Motor Totemist Guild.

Grady, who composes in microtonal scales that employ the frequencies between Western music's traditional 12 tones, introduced Poole to his own mentor, Erv Wilson. Wilson is a pioneer in microtonal music and "just" intonation, which tunes to vibrations' natural mathematical ratios rather than the tempered scales used in orchestras.

Never one to take halfway measures, Poole lived in Wilson's house for more than five years and emerged with his own way of hearing.

He had a Martin guitar re-fretted to 17 tones and, using his already precise, shaded finger-picking technique, began improvising trance-bound variations on spacious arpeggios that could extend until time vanished.

Poole's solo, group and bowed-guitar recordings have appeared on the W.I.N., Transparency and Incus labels (the last being Bailey's imprint).

Poole's music was the first and last thing heard Wednesday on KXLU-FM's (88.9) "Trilogy" show, this night hosted by old Motor Totemist friends Emily Hay and Lynn Johnston.

Pinging and plucking, gently contracting and expanding, with "just" harmonies fluttering their intangible physicality throughout, the improvisation exuded an uncanny sense of peace. In contrast to its quiet beauty, it was titled "The Death Adder."

Earlier in the day, Johnston described Poole as "a low-key guy — he was only in your face about music."

Two words that surfaced repeatedly when people talked about Poole's artistic temperament were "passion" and "intensity."

Experimental guitarist Jeremy Drake, a curator of the "Sound" concerts at Schindler House in West Hollywood, wrote on a Poole tribute site: "Rod was always fully present. Good mood or bad, you got the full Rod Poole experience whenever he was in the room."

Cindy Bernard, a primary "Sound" series organizer, said Poole was extremely meticulous about the many recordings he engineered for the series' archive: "It's rare to know someone whose enthusiasm for music is so pure."

Instrumentalist and composer Vinny Golia, long the most pervasive influence in this city's edge-music community, agreed. Poole once recorded a performance Golia had done with German bassist Peter Kowald. When Golia wanted a copy, Poole broke down his equipment, carried it over to Golia's house and made the transfer there, not wanting to take any chances that the copy wouldn't be perfectly compatible with Golia's system.

Guitarist Carey Fosse, who knew Poole mainly in Poole's transitional period of the early '90s, called him "a wonderful improviser, very disciplined, and with beautiful articulation. I think his technique led him to areas he hadn't imagined."

Poole had been disappointed by the lack of opportunities to play forward-thinking music in Los Angeles. Though he had made few live appearances for several years, Bailey's death in late 2005 inspired him to help fill what he felt to be an artistic gap.

Poole's wife said he had been working on "just"-intonated interpretations of Irish folk songs, and that the noted film sound mixer Giovanni Di Simone had made new recordings of him.

Grady recently received an invitation to perform at a microtonal festival in Germany and was asked if he could help extend the offer to Poole.

He will be there in spirit.

Ladaw-Poole said she will take her husband's ashes back to England. A memorial service is being planned.

Rod Poole, 1962-2007

This afternoon we got a phone call telling us that our friend Rod Poole was stabbed to death last night in Hollywood - I think we're still having a hard time believing that it's true. Rod moved from England to LA in 1989 and met my family shortly afterwards - I first met him when I was eleven or twelve when he was helping my grandparents around the house (amongst other odd jobs) to support himself while he was trying to work on his music. Later on, when I moved down to LA and started going out to live shows pretty much every musician I ever talked to about Rod agreed that he was one of the most amazing improvisational guitar players they had ever heard. I have a lot of really funny memories of Rod but what I remember the most about him is how impassioned he was about politics and his sense of justice, especially for those who had less (both economically and socially) in society.

NBA Player Hater Playoffs Edition: San Antonio Spurs, you're mean!

On Friday the NBA League Office reviewed the tapes of Wednesday's Suns-Spurs match up and determined that no action was necessary against Bruce Bowen for sharply kicking Amare Stoudemire in his Achilles tendon. Even though Stoudemire joins a long list of players who have come out against Bowen for being a flagrantly physical player, the office just dropped it. Note I didn't use the term "allegedly" in describing the incident- in the video I have seen, Bowen fully creeps up behind Stoudemire and clearly looks down to aim his foot so he can quickly kick Stoudemire as he's shooting. Check it out:



After the incident, Stoudemire told reporters on Thursday that Bowen intentionally tried to hurt him, called Manu Ginobili out for his behaviour during the regular season, and suggested that, overall, the Spurs are a "dirty team." Here's the thing: he's right. When I'm not so bored to tears by the Spurs and I actually take the time to watch them playing basketball it's like watching high school drama practice. In a single game you can see Ginobili and others trying to draw fouls by flopping over the stage, err I mean court, more times than in a Shakespearean tragedy. The frustrating thing is that for some reason most sports critics refuse to call out the Spurs for the way they behave on court. There was some minor backlash against them last season for their questionable behavior and a few bloggers calling for the end of the patented Ginobili flop that - in trying to draw attention and amplify a fake foul, has actually hurt other players in the process.

Maddeningly, in this recent Stoudemire-Bowen incident (especially after the NBA review on Friday), most sports bloggers and writers have turned against Stoudemire calling him "young" and immature for making comments against the Spurs in the media. You know what? I disagree. The Spurs do play dirty and I'm starting to suspect that Greg Popovich was the inspiration for the Evil Sensei character in The Karate Kid.

we rescued a bird!

bird! don't be afraid - you're too small for fried chicken













we will be friends bird!












but you must learn how to fly!

these are a few of my favorite things...

For all my complaining about the heat and other worries the last few days, it is nice to take a moment to appreciate the ephemeral joys outside and on the court. My grandma had more orchids bloom this year than any year before and - even though I'm here only a few weeks earlier than I was last year when I took some pics - they seem more vibrant. Her flower garden in the springtime has always made me so happy - I love the way it smells right after watering every little pot and the ground (especially right by the blossoming lemon tree and the rosemary).

Speaking of vibrancy, Derek Fisher always seems to pull a clutch play (dagger even? ugh, that term is so overused) during playoffs every couple of years just to remind me of what a subtly awesome player he has been. He gets on the court last night in the middle of the third quarter - after seeing his ten-month-old daughter through dangerous surgery - and reminded the Warriors why dropping him this past season might not have been the best idea. I miss the sweatband though D. If the NBA were to have additional awards each year, D-Fish would totally get the MBTB award (Most Believable as a Teddy Bear) and Mr. Congeniality.

Out of Anger at the Lakers' Loss... I Lash Out with Crude Photoshopping

Thank you Frank!

Who knew vinegary hot sauce and fried chicken wings could taste so good? Like the Pavlovian dog that I am, my mouth keeps watering every time I think about it. I'm going to become a fixture at Harold's Chicken Shack #47. It turns out they had their grand opening earlier this month. I'll never forget who gave me my first wing dude.

KFC: An Innerspace Odyssey

Kim reminded our brave group of five last night before we set off into the early, spring evening for the KFC on University Avenue of the following adage: Remember the lessons of the past. You gorge on KFC and you feel sick. A month later you forget and the fried chicken cravings start all over again.

We didn't listen - but as you can see from this handy diagram, the ears are not a part of the digestive system (please, no Deleuzean critiques in the comments section about the body, its organs and its systems, because I'm sure you were so just about to go there).


The Odyssey of KFC:

1:
The cornucopia of riches that KFC (or "KFCucopia") offers enters your mouth (last night this included honey bbq boneless wings; extra crispy wings and drumsticks, gravy, green beans, corn, biscuits, cole slaw, and even more gravy that you fondly refer to as "meat soda").
MOOD: Frenzied but happy.

2:
Yay Saliva! The mouth's natural lubricant to ease the bounty down. KFC gravy assists with the lubrication process.
MOOD: Still frenzied. Still happy.

3,4,5,6
Don't have much to say about you... too busy eating fried chicken.
MOOD: Smug, happy, with a beginning onset of greasiness.

7:
The hardly chewed food begins to make its way down through the espophagus. Were this an image of my esophagus last night, you would be able to detect the faint outline of a drumstick I may or may not have swallowed whole.
MOOD: Sluggish but content. Definitely feeling greasy.

8:
Once the food reaches the stomach research has shown that KFC products act much like those little capsules you had when you were a kid that expand fifty times their original size into sponge dinosaurs when you place them in water.
MOOD: A contest between remorse and sleepiness. Remorse sets in as you begin to question if the second biscuit and all of those swigs directly from the styrofoam gravy container were really necessary. As you contemplate their comedic necessity, an overpowering sense of fatigue sets in that attempts to battle the remorse. This may or may not be linked to a "forget-me-now" chemical that KFC adds to their food items - after all, who can remember their digestive unhappiness if they are asleep?

9 and 10:
Your body continues to battle the onslaught of fats, preservatives, and other noxiously delicious KFC chemicals.
MOOD: Rage. If you have resisted the food's "forget me now" sleep agent, you become filled with rage and disbelief at the Colonel. Who wears white when they're eating fried chicken anyway?

11:
It's the next day and much of the KFCucopia exits from your body.
MOOD: No comment.

welcome back!

animal kingdom

I would like to make it clear for the record: I was thousands of miles away when Winston the Cat's person was violated with an object of clothing for the purpose of photographing and exploiting his moronic cuteness. Sure sure, you all thought it would be me that would be the one to make Sikky or Winston wear clothing but it wasn't (btw, Easter or no, my first choice would have been a plucky little felt pirate hat - it's totally a sea theme and everyone knows cats love fish).

Meanwhile, I was exploring the Woodland Park Zoo today where I witnessed the following sad scene unfold at the gorilla exhibit:


Although it's pretty obvious what is going on in the picture sequence above, let me just break it down for you:
[Frame 1]: In a moment hearkening back to the rock giant Biter in The Neverending Story, the gorilla looks down at his hands that clutch nothing and he considers all that he has lost and stands to lose during his stay at the Woodland Park Zoo.
[Frame 2]: The gorilla vomits into his hands.
[Frame 3]: The gorilla eats his own vomit. This went on for about fifteen minutes. Hey - at least it drove most of the kids away from the exhibit.
[Frame 4]: This was taken after a heart-to-heart I had with the gorilla and presented him with a copy of Chicken Soup for the Primate Soul. Yet another life transformed by a metaphorical hot dose of restorative broth.

...

U Suck LA

Another year of blowing it.

Seattle Seafood Watch '07

When I arrived Wednesday, my brother told me it marked the first day of sunshine in over a month - I'm hoping it keeps up because yesterday was sunny, in the 60s, and just beautiful. He lives north of downtown in Magnolia with a view of Puget Sound in the distance from the windows. There are flowers blooming all over the city and the flowering trees (especially on the UW campus) are complex and beautiful.

I'm currently devising a seafoodometer that will accurately reflect the amount of fresh seafood I consume while I'm here. I made great progress yesterday when I had a spicy tuna roll at Pike's Market (and took a picture of the view) and then happened upon the beginning of an oyster happy hour (shucked oysters, 50 cents each!) at a restaurant on the waterfront. Half a dozen later, I realized I may have to return there every weekday at three while I'm here.

Late Breaking News: Tony Parker is a Serious Douche

Wow. This video has every component that makes a horrible rap video:

1. Includes talking about yourself in the third person: "Tony P." rapping about what a badass NBA basketball star he is (I think - it's in French, okay?) - can't you hire someone else to talk about how cool you are?
   
2. Uses little kid to rap with you: Tony P. raps and dances with a little kid in a blacklight room, featuring 80s-style neon streaks of light and glowsticks
   
3. Features skanky women dancers: cheerleaders, who also live in Tony P's blacklight kingdom
4. Features your current girlfriend: Tony P. hooks up with Eva Longoria who plays "Tony P's pole-dancer #2"
5. Features "whisper rapping": this is not sexy, okay? It's just not.
   

youtube music procrastinatastic

So last October I went to two of the most magical concerts ever - I got to see Beirut and Broken Social Scene within a couple of weeks of each other and I still think about both nights to this day. The Beirut clip contains their cover of "Brazil," which was already an awesome song but their orchestration is really fun and Zach Condon's voice is perfection. The BSS clip is their video for "Fire Eye'd Boy," which is pretty funny and features a cameo from one of the dudes from Rush!

Bruin Fandom

So UCLA won last night over Kansas in a really exciting game to watch - Kansas was so strong during the first half but something just happened to the Jayhawks during the second half. Their fast game turned sloppy and then Arron Afflalo ignited.

Rooting for UCLA around here isn't that easy though - as most of my friends following the tournament don't want them to win. It is kind of weird being a UCLA and a Lakers fan living in the Midwest. Okay, it's weird being a Lakers fan period. Both teams have a lot of funding and long histories of success that include eras where they just kept winning, so it's not like I'm rooting for the underdogs. In fact, with the case of the Lakers, I'm rooting for a team filled with inflated egos (P.J. and Kobe being the worst and the only two left over from the years when it was so much fun to watch the Lakers play) that little resembles the days when I would get so excited to see Robert Horry, D. Fish, Rick Fox, Shaq, and Kobe work together (but not Devean George!). I guess what I'm wondering though, is what makes UCLA so hated? Is it because they will often be overrated in the media, just like Duke or UNC? I just don't get it. The bruin mascot is so cuddly.

- Basketball Martha