26 March 2007

Late Breaking News: Tony Parker is a Serious Douche

Wow. This video has every component that makes a horrible rap video:

  1. Includes talking about yourself in the third person: "Tony P." rapping about what a badass NBA basketball star he is (I think - it's in French, okay?) - can't you hire someone else to talk about how cool you are?
  2. Uses little kid to rap with you: Tony P. raps and dances with a little kid in a blacklight room, featuring 80s-style neon streaks of light and glowsticks
  3. Features skanky women dancers: cheerleaders, who also live in Tony P's blacklight kingdom
  4. Features your current girlfriend: Tony P. hooks up with Eva Longoria who plays "Tony P's pole-dancer #2"
  5. Features "whisper rapping": this is not sexy, okay? It's just not.


4 comments:

Frank Ridgway said...

And yet, by Belgian standards, it's a major contribution to the world's cultural heritage.

mar said...

Frank! We HAVE to discuss last week's episode of Lost. OMG.

Frank Ridgway said...

But of course! "Did it hurt?" That Ben is a creepy bastard. My kind of guy.

mar said...

I am so into the onscreen chemistry that is Ben and Locke. Best snappy eighth-grader answer ever?

Locke: How do you have electricity?

Ben: We have two giant hamsters running in a massive wheel at our secret underground lair.