The Bruins will Pwnzor! My bracket methodology.

So last year a lot of my friends thought I was crazy when I predicted the Bruins would go all the way to the final game. But they did and I attribute it to the methodology I employ while creating an NCAA bracket. When crafting my bracket, I make sure that I don't let the team's playing record, past tournament experience, coach's history, or considerations of individual player's basketball skill influence the choices I make. Frankly, I just have not been persuaded that any of those factors directly relate to winning a game, let alone an NCAA tournament. Instead, I base all of my basketball predictions on an index I calculate using the following variables:

1) Team is from Los Angeles or the Tidewater region of Virginia
2) Number of players on the team who formerly played for a Los Angeles or Tidewater team (for NCAA play, this may include attendance at a Los Angeles or Tidewater area high school)
3) Number of players on the team I think are cute (offset by number of players on a team that are fugly or have a stupid and/or gimmicky appearance [including hairstyle, donning of various "sleeves," tattoos, etc.])
4) Results of one spin on the WWUD? (What would a unicorn do?) behavior prediction device. In this process, I chant the team's name during the spin. So, for example, this year while chanting "UCLA Bruins," the WWUD? predictor showed that, if the Bruins were in fact unicorns, they would "Impale Evil Things." This suggests in the Final Four rematch between UCLA and Florida, Bruin Arron Afflalo (from a Compton-area high school I might add) will slam Joakim Noah and his prep school background into the court (Noah loses big in the gimmicky appearance department). Meanwhile, while chanting "Duke Devils," the WWUD? predictor showed that, if the Devils were in fact unicorns, they would "pose on a windy cliff." In other words - they're showboat pussies that have gotten by on the reputation of their airbag coach and school's history for far too long. So sorry North Carolina, while you prance through waterfalls, Ohio State is going to majestically gallop over your ass. For my full bracket, check out "Webber 1" at espn.com - I'm in the UCLA ~ All the Way! - 13 Group. More brackets to follow, depending on the full recovery of my WWUD? predictor uni-arrow (the rainbow horn got a little smeary when I was eating my Peanut Butter Bumpers cereal too close to it).